


Mixed Up Memories

by DifferentChild



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Community: avengersgen, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 19:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1660484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DifferentChild/pseuds/DifferentChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony have a little talk about Howard Stark. Tony is reminded that parents were people before their children, and that maybe not all his memories are bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mixed Up Memories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nef (Nefhiriel)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nefhiriel/gifts).



> Fill for Round 7 of prompting on Avengersgen on LJ. Prompted by  
> nefhiriel
> 
> “I've read so many stories where Tony's bitterness towards Howard overwhelms whatever Steve might feel about him. I'd love a story where Tony clams up when Steve starts talking about Howard, and just listens.
> 
> At first he listens because he can tell Steve has all these fond memories he'd like to reminisce over - and Steve genuinely thinks that Tony would like to hear his memories about Howard from before Tony was born.
> 
> But, gradually, through listening to the good things about Howard, Tony finds himself seeing what other people saw in his father (what Steve saw in him, and why Steve considered him a friend).
> 
> Tony still doesn't have a bunch of fond, picture-perfect childhood memories of Howard - but for the first time in his life he actually wishes he had known his father better than he did.
> 
> Bonus points if Steve's stories spark a memory of one or two actually kind of nice moments Tony had with Howard.”
> 
>  
> 
> For you my dear!~~

Tony walked into the common room, not sure what he was going to do. Pepper had lectured him about spending less time in the lab and more time actually taking care of himself (sleeping, eating) or socializing, but he didn’t take it seriously. When had he ever? So she’d temporarily ordered JARVIS to shut down things in the lab after he’d work x amount of hours (he wasn’t sure how much x was, but then again this was new so he hadn’t bothered figuring out what x was yet, he would if he bothered.) Then he’d have an override and all would be back to normal.

But this time he just decided why not? He was at a standstill anyways so he shrugged and headed upstairs to see what was going on. 

What he found was an ordinary sight in the tower: Steve sitting down with his sketchbook, drawing someone. No surprised there.

“What’s up Cap?” Despite their improved relationship, Tony was still Tony.

Steve rolled his eyes and looked up. “Hi to you too Stark.” Two could play at that game. 

“Whatcha drawing?” 

“Howard, actually.” Cap turned the sketchbook around and showed him a remarkable likeness of the man in his younger years.

Howard. Just the name generally made Tony cringe. Everyone idolized the bastard. Everyone thought he was something worth praising. Not the old man he knew. Sure, his mind was obviously alright somewhere but seriously. The man himself? NO. And besides, Tony could do better.

“That’s nice. Well, I just came up to get something to eat before goin back to work.” If he used that excuse, then he’d get away without offending anyone, a surprise, and he wouldn’t have to listen to the spiel about his father that he knew was coming.

“I can tell you about him you know.” Rogers offered with a gentle voice and the best of intentions. “I know you two didn’t have the best of relationships, but I want you to know the good in him too. He was a different person when I knew him. I think you deserve that.” And he honestly figured Tony would want to know that too. He sure would if someone could tell him anything about his old man.

“He was brilliant Tony. He created weapons to help defend our country. He created flying cars. He made all sorts of things that just left you standing there in awe.”

He created weapons to kill people. 

Tony really didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to listen to all the goddamn wonderful things people had to say about the man who hurt him so much (not that he tended to verbalize those feelings, but they were there). He didn’t want to listen to his teammate, who he’d actually come to consider maybe a friend and certainly a tolerable individual (he was living in his Tower after all) go on and on about the man he had a boatful (or maybe more) of issues about. Would anyone?

“His technology was the newest stuff, always. He was a visionary, the kind that wasn’t always appreciated in his time. Though he didn’t do too bad.” A chuckle escaped despite his best efforts. It was hard sometimes, thinking that so many people were gone. But sometimes it was nice to remember them too. 

“He was at the World’s Fair, showing off the night I enlisted. I snuck away when Bucky wanted to go take the girls dancing because I was more interested in enlisting.”

No surprise there Cap, Howard sure explained your desire to serve to me enough times. Oddly enough a young Tony had once wanted to join the military too. But, for reasons he didn’t like to discuss, that didn’t happen.

“Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d get to spend time with him just a little while later.” The soldier shook his head at the incredulous thought. “We got to spend a lot of time together after Doctor Erskine died. He’d always say he was checking up on me for the good doctor, but I knew it was more.” He actually considered Howard a friend. And Steve Rogers didn’t bestow that title upon just anyone.

Sappy, sappy Cappy. I know you two were best buddies, hung out all the time, he idolized you, same old bullshit. 

It was really hard to keep up his respect for the Captain when he kept going on and on about someone who was an entirely different person when they knew each other. Didn’t anyone understand? 

“He helped me through the change Tony. It wasn’t easy becoming a super soldier after being this tiny, sickly kid from Brooklyn for so long. Lots of things had to chance and Howard was great at helping me really get to know myself.” Not initially of course, because he’d been thrown into doing USO tours rather than actually fighting. But once he’d gone off against orders to rescue the 107th? He and Howard had a lot of time to spend together.

Funny how time worked in a war.

After a pause, Roger continued. “Howard made Shields too Tony, no pun intended.” Steve smiled a bit at that, thinking more and more about how the name might have come about. “He wanted to protect people, to help them. That’s why he invented. It wasn’t all negative.” He spoke as though he could read his teammate’s mind in regards to an earlier statement he’d made.

The younger Stark’s immediate knee-jerk reaction was, once again, to tell him it was just a lingering boredom, a desire to tinker, to toy around, to make money, and that it was all self-serving bullshit. But he couldn’t help remembering a long talk he’d had with his father about the man standing before him.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“He was more than an icon Tony, he was a hero. A real hero, unlike me.”

“But why aren’t you a hero too Dad?” Tony still had illusions about his father at this age, it was the stage when your parents could do no wrong, even if they could, even if they did.

Howard chuckled, ruffling little Tony’s hair. “I made weapons, sure kid. I made armor. I made shields. I even made planes and cars.”

“You can make anything!”

No, that’s you kid. You can make anything. Something Howard would later tell Tony he was thinking at the time (though in a much different context). “Nah, no one do anything. But he tried. He was willing to sacrifice himself for not only his friends, but for people he never even met. He was a small kid from Brooklyn. A kid who didn’t believe he was anything special, who didn’t believe he was worth a damn.” 

The word was nothing new to Tony because when had Howard cared about language with anyone? Maria would get onto her husband for cursing in front of the kid, but he just told her ‘He’ll hear it eventually. Why not now?’

But Tony couldn’t wrap his brilliant mind around what he’d just been told. “Why didn’t he think he was special?” 

Straight from the mouths of babes. “He said he didn’t wanna kill people, that bullies were bad. He said he just wanted to help people. He was special, kiddo. He may not have believed it but he was special. He saved people’s lives. All I did was give him the tools.”

“I wanna be like Captain America!” 

Of course he did. What kid didn’t want to be a superhero? “But I wanna be just like you too dad! You made the stuff that protected him and you make a lot of cool stuff all the time! I’m gonna be like…Captain Creator or something!” Tony proceeded to grin and get up, pretending to punch bad guys and build stuff, because who said he couldn’t do both?

I’m proud of you for just being Tony. Chalk that up to a list of things Stark would never say, but apparently wrote down in that journal of his. He knew his kid would say that, he knew it. But him too…that brought a real smile to Howard’s face. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Yea okay so maybe Howard wasn’t always an ass. But he could still be a pretty big dick sometimes. The man was a drunk, a raging alcoholic at his best, even if he did make things.

“And he could fly. Man could he ever. Peggy wasn’t kidding when she said he was the best civilian pilot she knew. He took us into a warzone, well we were already in a warzone, but he took us across enemy lines. Tony do you know how risky that is even for trained, Army pilots? You never know what’s going to happen.” Steve shook his head, remembering how ballsy the older Stark was. “And he didn’t hesitate for a moment.”

No, he wouldn’t have.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
Tony was 8. It was a clear, beautiful day outside and he was standing around an old barn at one of their properties. It was an old one he figured, based on the way it looked. He hadn’t really come out here before that he could remember but his dad had to have a reason to drag him out to the middle of nowhere.

While Tony was bored, Howard was excited. He had that ginormous grin on his face that Tony had seen in some of the old photographs, except this seemed more real than most of the ones he’s seen in his life. “What are we doing here?” The question could result in punishment if his father was in a mood, but thankfully he wasn’t.

“We’re here today Tony, because I’m going to teach you to fly.” Howard opened the doors to a barn, revealing a I’ll be damned if my boy doesn’t know how to fly a plane.”

Normally the child would scoff at the idea of such a thing, but when he looked at the plane and looked back at his father, he thought he’d give it a try. Yes, at eight Tony had already become a bit weary of the world and sarcastic. If someone responded with surprise, he’d just come right back and say ‘you try being a genius’ and drop the ‘with parents like this’ part. But Howard was making an effort and so could he.

Surprisingly, it was fun. Howard took him up in the plane, letting him feel what it was like first. Normally they rode while someone else flew, because that meant his father could continue to work during the journey (if Tony was even there). And he’d always sorta known his father could fly, he heard about it often enough with the talk of Captain America. But seeing him do it was another matter, or rather experiencing it. 

It was breathtaking. It was invigorating. It was amazing. And that was just riding in the small plane with his father, getting to watch everything from high up in the sky. Tony loved the heights, the unique perspective it gave him. It was fascinating. So when his father offered up the wheel, after they were on the ground again of course, he leaped at the chance – anything to be able to experience that more often.

To his father’s amusement, it took a few tries, unlike most things in Tony’s life. Though it served him right since everything else was basically handed to him with his intelligence. Once he figured it out, it was glorious. It was this insane feeling of being in control of something so far removed from people, but so close to them too. They weren’t going that high on his first lesson, but when he found out there’d be more he stopped complaining about that.

_ - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

So maybe Cap had a point about some things. Howard wasn’t a total deadbeat, but it was easier to say that he was. It was hard, reconciling things that he knew or heard with what he primarily experienced. From all the stories he wished he could’ve met his dad sooner, maybe things would’ve been different then. Or maybe it was just Tony that made things different…

No way to tell now. He’d lost him before he’d had the chance to ask a bunch of the questions he’d always wanted to ask. When Howard was working, you didn’t talk to him unless he told you to. When Howard was drunk, you did what he said or you’d pay the price. But this Howard sounded different. He wanted to know this man, somewhere inside of him at least, not that he’d be admitting that anytime soon. 

This version of his father sounded more like what everyone kept saying. And it was one thing when people who hardly (or didn’t) know the man said this stuff, but Steve saw him during War. War…a time when men were at their worst and weapons had to be at their best. He knew he sure as hell wouldn’t be one to leave the rosiest of impressions on people if they caught him at a time like that.

“Tony?” Steve questioned, bringing the brilliant man out of his musings.

“Hmm?”

“I hope I haven’t overstepped my bounds, talking about Howard this whole time. I know you had issues….”

Same old Steve. “Look, I admit, I don’t think of roses and sunshine when I think of my old man. I don’t think of going to get ice cream or spending the day flying kites. We weren’t the type of family to go to Disney and, well actually we went to Disney but Walt’d been dead for a decade around then so it was his kids that I met.”

“O, I remember Disney Tony. I’m not that old.” He felt the need to inject some humour into the situation and also to defend himself. The ancient jokes could get a little old.

“Yea, yea, I know.” Stark waved a hand dismissively before getting back to the point. “What I’m trying to say is that, to put it bluntly, he was a different man when I knew him. You’re talking about someone else as far as I know.” Then came a sigh, time to admit something sorta personal to get Cap off his back and because maybe he deserved to know he didn’t screw up so bad with this whole trying to help thing.

“I wish I’d known the man that you did. I guess I caught some glimpses of him here and there, but the man you knew as Howard Stark sounds like a pretty cool guy.” I wish he could’ve been my father. “I guess I can see why you like him so much.”

Steve Rogers wasn’t sure he could be more touched. This was Tony Stark, Iron Man, ‘Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist’. Not the man who shares his feelings. That was pretty personal as far as things went with the man standing before him. Part of him wanting to give a good-natured tease about the emotions, but the rest of him knew that would ruin it. If he said something there was the potential to make him clam up when he’d already come so far. So instead, he settled for a small smile.

“I’m glad I could help you there Tony. Because even if I didn’t know the man you did, the one I knew would’ve been real proud of having you for a son. And I can’t imagine that ever changing.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I leave it there. Because sappy and I don’t know. After re-watching Captain America: The First Avenger and then starting to re-watch Iron Man (I was almost 11 minutes in but I had to stop because INSPIRATION), I was flooded with ideas and had to restrain myself. So there we have it. Hope I made you happy Nef and hope the rest of you enjoyed too!


End file.
